We were sooo cute!

I have been scanning some old photos for my mom and look what I found! This was a long time ago. My brother & I in his little red wagon.

Home repairs

Look what I did! All by myself!

Only took 1 hour & 1 trip to home depot. I rock!

Oh yes, and this was days ago. It works and the house has not burned down. I totally rock!

Is the lake full yet?

Seriously - I am sick of the rain. My back yard has an inch of standing water. 3 more inches and it will be coming over the slab foundation. May have to sand bag. About 4 years ago we had to sand bag because the water was coming over the slab. This is not fun. Do you know how much a bag of wet sand weighs? Any idea how long it takes to fill them? Not to mention what wet sand does to new leather boots.

Had a crazy day yesterday - lost my Costco card, ATM & car keys. Found the car keys, but the rest is probably gone forever. New ATM card is on it's way. Let's see if I can remember how to write a check.

I have lost 9 pounds! Yippee!

????

Went on a date - a real live date. And it wasn't awful.

I was soooo freaked out before, but it was nice. Really nice guy - easy to talk to. I LOVED the attention.

Guess I have my answer to my previous post. Married people should not date & I'm thinking I might like to date . . . .

2nd adolescence on it's way

Vows

Here's my question . . . the unresolved issue that I am wrestling with. What does it mean to make a vow - what does it mean to break a vow . . .

I am right now sort of an non-married woman. I mean I am still legally married, but I am so not married. We married a long time ago. We have lived apart for nearly two years and he chose another person as a new soul mate long before that. We are over - no question about that. I can never see myself living with him again and after two years that fact no longer hurts. There is no one else in my life and I don't know if that matters. I have reached a point where I don't need a mate to be okay.

But . . . divorce . . I am having a hard time with that. I made a vow. A friend of mine tells me I am not held to that vow, because my husband broke the vows first. I know I need to make this step to move on with my life, but it just seems wrong.

Am I crazy or what?

Random thoughts

I think it is interesting, but not necessarily appropriate, that my first real attempt to blog comes only after a few glasses of white zinfindel. Maybe no one will read this or maybe I will look at it in a totally sober moment and delete it. No matter, I am in the mood to write, so here it goes.

I am a person who is learning a lot about myself. About 2 years ago, my world fell apart in that my marriage finally bit the dust. It had been heading that way for a while. I have gone through a tremendous amount of pain, anxiety and fear since then, but also so much growth. I am through the majority of the bad stuff now and am excited about the changes that have happened and are happening within me. Excited and a bit scared.

I LOVE being a mom & recognize that I tend to do the mom bit a lot with people who aren't even my kids. I have 2 fantastic, beautiful & smart daughters. I am amazed that they actually are my kids. I also have WAY too many pets on account of my inability to say "no". I have 4 cats and 3 dogs, none of which I actually voluntarily brought into my home. But once they got here they had a home.

I am finally and joyfully, developing spiritually. I am a slow learner, but thanks to a great church and to God, I am starting to learn and truly believe in a way that was never possible for me before.

Life is good . . . .

First Blog

I did it - created a blog account! More later . . . . . . .